I know I'm talking to myself but it really saddens me that no one in my immediate group of friends/family seems interested in supporting KJ and I in our weight loss journey. My habbits are like a yo-yo. Even though I know I'm talking to myself I'm going to start being brutally honest. I need to confront reasons why I give up on exercising and eating correctly so I can change those things. I know one of the reasons I don't exercise is because I feel so overwhelmed with house chores (that seriously never that done). It's not it seems like there never done, it's that I DON'T DO THEM. I am a depressive person and put them off untill it's totally unbearable to go any further without doing them. I know this is utterly disgusting. I feel like a worthless person because I let it get this way. Whenever I do try to get some minor task done I know I must do it quickly because my somewhat improved mood does not last long. When I say these thinks out loud in my head the reasons why I get so fed up and grumpy that I give up for that moment trying to accomplish something it sounds stupid. But I don't care about sounding stupid anymore. I want to fix myself and make me better and if this will help by me writing down things that have made me give up for the moment or the day I'll do it and risk looking and sounding pathetic. Just now I bonked my leg on the dishwasher. I knew I was going to start doing this so I sat down. My kids are another reason. Primarily Kermie. They can bug the living daylights out of me. Just now Kermie was leaning against me and he was wiggling a little hammer against me and it bugged me so much I practically felt my blood boil inside my head. This sounds pathetic. Maybe I have some kind of adversion to kids. I'm allergic to kids. OK, I said I was going to be brutally honest, and I meant it.